Opposite Day

It's Opposite Day and that's why I'm smilin'
about all the phone numbers I keep dialin'
to tell everyone I hate that I love you.

You'll shrug and you'll smile when you hear the good news
about how I'd love to walk in your shoes.
Look me right in the eye and tell me that you love me too.

There are letters to write and places to visit,
for 24 hours I'll eat my own shit,
pretend like I'm Jesus so we can all be friends...

Because it's Opposite Day, oh yeah
and tomorrow I might hate you,
and probably the next day too.
It's Opposite Day, and I love you.

It's Opposite Day and Metallica's new stuff
is so much better than Master of Puppets,
and I don't need a shower cause I don't stink.

It's Opposite Day and I'm eating a big steak
and washing it down with a frosty milkshake.
I truly believe that all cows have to die, cows, die.

It's Opposite Day that's why, oh, why.
And tomorrow I'll eat tofu,
and probably the next day too.
It's Opposite Day so fuck tofu.

You know, I'm really glad I quit school for this, because you guys are
all so intelligent. Of course, I never masturbate in the back of the van
on tour. You know, I'm a way better bass player than most people.
You know it's really great playing in a band with you guys, seriously.

It's Opposite Day!
It's dark outside!
It's Opposite Day!
I really like you guys!
It's Opposite Day!
'cause you're so smart!
It's Opposite Day!
You're a work of art!
It's Opposite Day!
Your breath smells great!
It's Opposite Day!
I never masturbate!
It's Opposite Day!
I wanna be like you!-a